Tag Archives: opinion

Divorce Killed the Matrimony Star

18 Nov

An Associated Press article came out today in most news outlets about a study by the Pew Research Center, in association with Time magazine that reported 4 out of 10 people say marriage is becoming obsolete. Reading this article made me think about my own believes and views about the institution of marriage and what it means to me.

It’s very unfortunate that the image and desire I had to one day create my own family by taking the vows of marriage in front of my family and friends have changed. I believe too highly in the holy sacrament of marriage. To think that someone else I’m involved with could not regard this commitment in the same level that I do, whether I like it or not, is unfathomable. In this day and age it’s very rare to find a person who thinks like me, so why risk it? Why disrespect it? May as well never even try it just to avoid disappointment.

How about if I would just meet whoever I’m going to meet in this lifetime and have a comradeship, mutual respect, and companionship? And WHEN (not “if” because it WILL happen) we had enough of each other the separation won’t be this major rupture (this is my catholic self chiming in) of the oath we swore to God in front of witnesses. Whether it last a few weeks, months, or a few years there’s always the chance to start over fresh and new and not with the stigma of failure at the attempt of a happily ever after.

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Honest Actions or Ulterior Motives?

16 Nov

How do I honestly come up with things to do without an ulterior motive to eventually benefit me in the end? I would like to be able to stop concocting these extravagant scores to achieve what I thing would be good for me and just live and let life and destiny take me wherever it would be. I always do this; try to take matters into my own hands. May it be impatience, determination, habit, whatever. I cannot succumb from doing this.

I can’t begin to understand why my need to control all kinds of situations in my life. I wish the process of understanding my dilemma would be already settled in my head so this entry could have a problem, explanation, and resolution with maybe a moral in the end, but so much for wishing, right?

Why do I resort to past habits that I know for a fact don’t work and only give me grief and false hope? I don’t know…because that’s what I’ve done for years, it’s my comfort zone, it’s my default setting.
How can I deprogram what I’ve been subconsciously resorting to for years and years? By doing the opposite, you may suggest, but restraining myself from living and having a life, enclosing myself within the four walls of my apartment and cutting myself out from any kind of human interaction, punishing myself…is that really the answer? Is it? Is it?

The maze that is my head is getting stronger and more intricate as time goes by. I have no roadmaps, no signs, no GPS to help me, even though I was the architect, the creator, the mastermind behind this complex labyrinth.

Attention Shoppers!

3 Nov

Halloween is over so it only means one thing. The holiday season is upon us. One of my favorite things to do is to go through Neiman Marcus’ The Christmas Book catalog and take my pick at the gifts that call my attention and wish to get every year. This also includes the oh so extravagant, and over-the-top expensive fantasy gifts. A girl can dream, can’t I? I definitely recommend you take a look at the book. If you don’t get the catalog delivered you can flip through it online.
Without further ado, here is a list of the goodies that I’m so including in my Dear Santa’s letter. Hehe!

Aquatalia mink-cuffed boots $795. They are waterproof, have a cute, stylish, wedge and they come in expresso and black. You can match it with any outfit this winter.

Gucci Vintage Boston bowler bag $990.00
It has the same style as a LV Speedy which I love. Gucci is one of my favorite design labels so this would be a very nice addition to my handbag collection. I specially like the vitage green and red stripe right down the middle. Very festive!

Juicy Couture ballet flats $195.00
These flats are super cute! I love wearing heels, but sometimes it gets to be too much at the office. Having trendy, comfortable shoes to switch it up is a must.
Byte By Teso suede and fur vest $2,750.00 Fur vests are in this season and this trend looks good and is practical for those cool fall days and nights.
Michael Kors cashmere coat $2,795.00
This coat is the perfect glamorous look to walk around in a snowy night. Very sex and the city. I wanted a white coat for a while now and this is the perfect one!

Edible Gingerbread Playhouse by Dylan’s Candy Bar $15,000.00
I love making gingerbread houses for the holidays. They are a really entertaining way to pass the time and they’re fun to eat too! So why not indulge on this house and eat your way out of it!

Candy Corn and a Side of Gore

28 Oct

In honor of Halloween this weekend I wanted to talk about the thing I like to do during the month of October to get in the mood for all hollows eve. I usually get in the festivity mood by watching horror flicks. For instance, this year I started with Nightmare on Elm Street (2010). Although I am an avid movie buff, horror is probably at the bottom of my favorite genre list, if not dead last. However, nothing says to me Halloween like cozying up on my couch with tons of candy, popcorn, soda, chips and scary movies such as these.

The Shining (1980) – Knowing that you’re all alone with no contact with the outside world and your husband turned into a deranged killer? Movie magic! This movie has many memorable cinematic scenes and lines that makes for an instant horror classic. I love Jack Nicholson’s performance. He is so good is frightening.

Halloween (1978) – I like that fact that is low budget independent film. Some cool trivia about this movie? It was filmed in the spring in southern California so in order to portray fall in Illinois the crew had to hand-paint leaves in autumn colors and reuse them over and over for different locations. Also, the director considered the hiring of Jamie Lee Curtis as the ultimate tribute to Alfred Hitchcock who had given her mother, Janet Leigh, legendary status in Psycho.

Psycho (1960) – Creepy is definitely the word I would use to describe this film. A grown man living alone with the corpse of his dead mother is enough of a twist to send chills down your spine. The main character suffers from a really bad case of multiple personality disorder in which he takes on the role of his mother to murder those that “she” believes stand in the way of their mother-son relationship.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) – alright, so this isn’t technically horror but I’ve loved the headless horseman story since I was very little. I like this version with Johnny Depp because I like how he develops characters and also like how Tim Burton direction is visually rewarding and adds to the eerie, mystical feel of the film.

The Exorcist (1973) – This movie is terrifying. Period. Scary movies involving children always creeps me out, but this one takes the cake. The demonic manifestations on Linda Blair’s character are nightmare inducing. You can’t watch this film alone.

Luxury at Home

28 Oct

Sometimes you have to indulge in the little things that make you feel like a million bucks. These are the things that turn your house into a home. I work hard for my money and I deserve a little wiggle room for play. So do you! Here are some of the things I won’t skimp on. I deserve the best in my own home.

Chandeliers

They immediately makes a room into a statement of your space. It’s like jewelry for the home. Under chandelier lighting anyone looks like a movie star. They create an ambiance of relaxation. The sparkles make me feel more feminine, glamorous, and luxurious; everything you want to feel in your own home when you are relaxing or you’re hosting a party and having fun…and peaking of having fun…

Home Bar

I love entertaining, so having a bar area in my house is very important to me. You want your guest to feel welcome, and like they don’t need to go anywhere else to have a good time. Keep all your utensils, shakers, glasses, bottles and garnishes neatly organized in a beautiful and functional bar or table. Keep it stocked all the time because you never know when there will be an impromptu time for celebration.

Drapery

It dresses up any room and also gives it softness for the harsh lines of the walls and furniture. Pulled back, they allow the sun to shine though and dress up your windows like a lush scarf. Closed, the window treatments give you more privacy and create a feeling of an exclusive nook just for you. Choose fabrics like silk, organza, velvet or linen allowing the textures to speak to you. Decide what feelings you want your room to evoke and go for it.

Throws

They need to be in luxury fabrics that are both warm and soft. I keep them on my sofa and at the foot of my bed, so no matter what room of the house I am at I’m always warm in the winter time. They are also a great decoration piece if you contrast the color with your furniture. It looks effortless, casual, and homey. Choose soft to the touch fabrics like cashmere or fur.

Soaps & Salts

I like to keep natural, hand-made, organic soaps and salts to give my bathroom a feeling of a five-star resort spa. When you need to unwind after a long day at work, just soak up in a bath with aromatic salts or shower with the aromatic soaps to feel recharged and refreshed. My bathroom ends up smelling really good and I feel soft and clean, pure bliss! Also, If you have company staying overnight you can make their bathroom experience all the more fancy with white towels, a fresh new bar of soap and a little sea salt bag. I like Mario Russo’s products because they have a rustic, exclusive look to them. Trés chic!

A Night in Salem

26 Oct

It was a unusually warm and foggy night, perfect to walk around Salem, Massachusetts with all the Halloween activites that are going on for Haunted Happenings. Last night I went out with my friends from California. I barely get to see them so I was extremely excited to share and spend some time with them. She and her husband along with two other local friends joined me at this kitschy Thai restaurant called Bangkok Paradise downtown. The atmosphere was very relaxed. Because of the season, the restaurant had all kinds of Halloween decorations which added to our festive mood. There was a jazz band playing in the background and some of the regulars were singing kareoke to their favorite tunes. One of them sang Ella Fitzgerald’s I Got You Under My Skin, classic!

For appetizers we had edamame, of course, and chicken satay with peanut sauce. I always used to open the pod with my hands and pop the soy bean in my mouth, but my friend suggested a a better way. Just put the pod in your mouth and squeeze the beans out. That way you get the salt from the pod to season the bean. Very tasty.

For entrée we had pad thai, and sushi rolls. The pad thai was extremely saucy and delicious. I had never tried this dish before, but my girlfriend told me that of all the pad thai’s she’s had this one was on the good side of her scale. I believe I may be coming back here for some more Thai food in the near future.
The sushi was ok, nothing expectacular. I hadn’t had sushi in a while though, mostly because not many of my friends enjoy it as much as I do, so if I’m craving it that means I have to fly solo. I think sushi is a dish meant to be shared so it’s not that fun to get it by myself.

We talked about everything and nothing for a couple of hours over martinis and scotch. We made plans for me to visit California real soon given that I haven’t been back since their wedding. All in all, I had a great night with friends breaking from the norm of my routine in one of the funnest cities in October. I totally recommend you check it out before November first gets here. Cheers to good company!

The Right to Cheat

18 Oct

I had a conversation with a good guy friend of mine regarding fidelity. He expressed that for him, as long as his partner is fulfilling his needs, there’s no reason to wonder off, but that he, in fact, had been unfaithful because his wife had been “acting up for a while.” His words, not mine.
So I asked him what that meant. He replied that as a wife, her duties were to always be available physically for him, to maintain their house clean, food on the table, and to take care of their children. He couldn’t understand why she would make up excuses for when he wanted to be intimate with her. He said it had been going on for too long and since she wasn’t giving it to him at home he went out looking for it elsewhere.

In his defense, he added that he performed his duties as a husband. He gave me a laundry list of the things he would do for her like flying her out for a weekend getaway. He works so she doesn’t have to, he is a good father to their children, and he buys her whatever she needs and wants, so why wasn’t she pulling her weight? He asked me. Why would she refuse to please me when all I do is please her?

All I kept thinking about was his wife. I thought about her reasons and excuses to not perform what was expected of her. So what about these marital duties? If you’re doing your part as a husband or wife and your still chose to cheat, what about then? The indiscretion has to be forgiven or overlooked because you are doing what you’re supposed to be doing at home? Now I ask myself, am I the type of person that allows to be cheated on?

I feel is extremely important to have the answer to that question before you enter a relationship. You have to know yourself, and understand your point of view from the beginning, so when it does happen, because it will, you are ready to do what you are supposed to do. I believe all of us as human beings living on this earth will experience at some point of our lives some kind of infidelity, so why not be prepared for it when it happens.

You have two options, you can be the accepting type; the one that will overlook and/or forgive an indiscretion and work together with your partner through any fidelity issue and stay together. Or option two; you can be the one who won’t stand for any wrongdoing and leave.

My friend got me thinking about a very interesting point. Most of the females I have discussed this issue with tell me that women cheat because there’s something lacking in the relationship, which is what my male friend was telling me now. I always assumed that men cheat because they feel they can, women cheat because they are trying to fill a void from their relationship.

Maybe it’s not a black and white answer, maybe there are some gray areas, and maybe men and women are not as different. Some men could cheat because they’re missing something, and some women cheat because they too feel they can.

No matter the reason, circumstance, situation or person involved, understanding what actions to take before the indiscretion has occurred will give you a sense of security because you’re prepared. Emotions can sometimes cloud the mind and not allow you to think straight.

Do you believe?

12 Oct

I believe! The faith I have in me is slowly growing and it makes me happy to know that. There was a time when I thought that I could do anything, that I was invincible. That all I had to do was want something and I would get it. Ah! the naïveness of my believe was quite admirable and pitiful at the same time. However, this can-do attitude took me very far compared to other stereotypical counterparts.
Fast-forward a few years of emotional bullying and life’s reality check. I had completely changed this view. My attitude had morphed into a “why-me?” Life had thrown me a series of tests that in my eyes I had failed miserably. This was my distorted assessment of the truth until I had my own Aha! moment.
Now, I see things differently. Looking back at all the trials that I had to experience in the last years they were not failures, but were reaffirmations of my resilience to overcome, persevere, and rise above. My “why me?” attitude was truly a “survivor” mind-set. Once I had this realization I saw my life completely different and hence started to get my old mentality back. The faith I have in me is nowhere near what it used to be but slowly getting there. My old attitude was mostly driven on naïve notions of the world. I was the center of the universe and people and things revolved around me just because.
I know better now. I can do whatever I set my mind to do, I can achieve anything I put all my heart and soul into, I have faith in God and the people that truly care and have the best interest in me. How did my mind frame change? I recognized that I needed help so I actively made an effort to seek it. Here are some things you can do:

Therapy. This is very crucial because it’s professional help. You can get a lot detangled that you didn’t even know was a problem in your life in the first place. I’m not going to say it can’t be done alone, but it is probably very difficult. Why make it harder than it has to be. It already is a challenge; don’t try to reinvent the wheel.
Support groups. Whether is family, friends or online chats, even all at the same time. People around you that are cheering for you, that are providing a helping hand in difficult times, lending an ear for you to let it all out or just showing that they care. This is a great thing to have when you’re feeling inadequate. Once I got some of my friends and family that I felt comfortable sharing my issues with involved, they offered their very kind and generous support, their time and advice.
Mentor. A mentor can be so important because they can give you that courage you’re lacking to follow your dreams. They have been there, they know the ropes and they are willing to give you tips, advice and to give you that little push you need to get it going.
Get involved. Advocate, volunteer, and believe in something bigger than you, like a cause, a movement, a charity, anything that stops making you think in terms of you and more in terms of others and their needs. I got involved in a charity that advocates towards battered women because it’s a cause dear to my heart.
Educate yourself. Read books, magazines, anything that will expand your knowledge on things you care about and are interested in. I’m currently reading self-help books because of their inspiration and positive outlook.

How ’bout a hug?

8 Oct

I’ve always been very particular about personal space. It’s just something I guard very carefully and only allow people to trespass this zone when I am extremely comfortable with them. This obsessive compulsive attitude I have over having people around me too close for comfort is what has made me notice something interesting about how others regard personal space. Here I’m going to concentrate on a specific type of body contact. The hug.
Have you ever notice how people hug? I have. The way people hug can tell you whether they’re comfortable with you or not also, whether they want to or not engage in this clear violation of personal space with you. Ok, so they are hugging you so you may think that they want to. Not necessarily, this could be because of many reasons, for instance they may have to either for courtesy sake, or because they feel obliged due to the circumstance meriting this exchange.

How do you know if you’re getting a fake hug? Pick up on how the hug is being administered. Here is how:

You get the pat hug. Yes, the pat in the back as they are hugging you.
Ok, so what is the “pat” you ask? Well, simply put is the courteous way a person can say to you “I’m done allowing you inside my personal space, get off me….now!” Once the patting has stopped that’s you cue to back away from the hug. It’s that simple.

There’s the half hug. The person hugging you is using one arm to accomplish the task. This allows them the control of when to finish it without being restrained by the other party.

The column hug. This is the one where the person giving the hug applies the “emergency break” and so the hug ends up looking like you’re both hugging a column placed in the middle of you.

And finally there is the infamous limp hug. This one is probably the most seen out there. This is the hug that gets administered with the least amount of effort from the person giving the hug as if to feel that you’re hugging a corpse. This would be THE hug I would dread getting the worst. This hug says, “I do NOT want to touch you and I don’t want you to touch me, but since I have to I’ll endure it pretending I’m unconscious.”

Now that you know what kind of hugs are out there don’t get caught in an awkward situation, recognize which hug you are being given and reciprocate. Let’s make the exchange bearable.

End of Summer = Good TV

24 Sep

This week most of the TV shows that I’m into aired their season premieres. I’m so excited! cannot wait for the new storylines and cool jokes coming this season on some sophomore shows and veteran favorites. This is the only good thing about Summer ending. The brand spanking new Fall TV schedule that keeps me glued to the magic box every night.
So I wanted to share my top favorite TV comedy and drama shows. The ones that make me laugh until my guts hurt and the ones that stress me out even though I know it’ll all work out in the end.

My fave LOL shows are:
Community – I’m going to be honest, the reason why I was attracted to this show last year is the same reason why I thought it was going to get canned after a couple of episodes. Joel McHale. I’ve had a super crush on this funny guy ever since The Soup first aired in 2004. Joel is funny, hot, sarcastic, aloof, everything that works for the kind of show that he is hosting, but could he act? that question was answered on Community’s pilot. Yes he can! Enough about Mr. McHale, the show is definitely held together by the amazing ensemble cast who includes legend Chevy Chase. I just got the DVD for the full first season and I love it even more the second time around. Love this show!

Modern Family – One word. Sofia. I’m so proud to be a latina right now because she’s amazing. I’ve known about Sofia Vergara, hot Colombian goddess, since she was Mexican Hearthrob songbird Luis Miguel’s girlfriend. Waaay back when I was a teenybopper in love with Luismi and I just didn’t like her. I thought she was just interested in being famous and couldn’t act. I honestly never really saw any of her work, I was just being a hater. Then she gets cast for this show and I figure I’ll give it a try so I can get more ammunition and hate some more. Ha! the joke was on me. I discovered this fine gem of a sitcom. I also love Ty Burrell’s character Phil and his son Max. Phil has the best lines, and Gloria has a I Love Lucy ora to her that I just can’t get enough of. Must see.

The Office – I’ve turned so many of my friends into Office fans that we have our own inside jokes, and ongoing bits about it. It’s like a cult, just go to Facebook, Twitter or any social network site to experience firsthand the massive, overwhelming love for those characters.

30 Rock – What can I say about this show? Tina and Alec, Liz and Jack. comedic geniuses. Well deserved Emmy’s on both parts.

Favorite Dramas are:
90210 – It’s started as pure nostalgia and I’m sure the producers orchestrated it that way, but it definitely caught my attention and got me into this famous zip code all over again. Long gone are the days of Kelly and Brenda fighting over Dylan. Today is likeable bitch Naomi and super annoying Annie one misunderstanding after another. Loves it!!

Project Runway – I love me some Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum! and every week feels like NYFW since I get to watch a runway show. Fun!

America’s Next Top Model (ANTM) – Let me just say this, Tyra Banks is the most annoying woman in the world. We have an ongoing joke in my house that if something is really, really bad we call it “banks” that’s how much I dislike this lady, but she can sure make good TV. I’ve watched this show since it first started and I’ve never gotten sick or tired of it. I mostly watch it for the Jays (Jay Emanuel and Ms. Jay) and for the photo shoots and panel. I can’t get enough of it, but I can definitely do without the ridiculous things that come out of Tyra’s mouth for sure.

Parenthood – This show is so real. That’s why I like it. My favorite couple are Kristina and Adam. I also like Amber, Sarah’s daughter (played by Gilmore Girl’s Lauren Graham). I don’t think I’m completely obssessed with it yet, but I can’t seem to not miss it.

Runners up:
How I Met Your Mother – I got into this show this summer watching re-runs on CBS and I really enjoy the show’s old school sitcom feeling, but with really smart and witty jokes. This show is super goofy, but at the same time feels very sophisticated.

Chopped – I love the FoodNetwork and this show is like the whole channel wrapped in a tiny box on steroids. I enjoy the competitions a lot.

For this season not a lot of freshman shows have called my attention. I will though give these two a try.

New Shows:
Running Wilde – Just because Will Arnett is on it. (hellooo?!?! Gob! Arrested Development)
Outsourced – It’s on NBC thursday nights. My favorite night of the week, what can I say? hehe