Tag Archives: marriage

Divorce Killed the Matrimony Star

18 Nov

An Associated Press article came out today in most news outlets about a study by the Pew Research Center, in association with Time magazine that reported 4 out of 10 people say marriage is becoming obsolete. Reading this article made me think about my own believes and views about the institution of marriage and what it means to me.

It’s very unfortunate that the image and desire I had to one day create my own family by taking the vows of marriage in front of my family and friends have changed. I believe too highly in the holy sacrament of marriage. To think that someone else I’m involved with could not regard this commitment in the same level that I do, whether I like it or not, is unfathomable. In this day and age it’s very rare to find a person who thinks like me, so why risk it? Why disrespect it? May as well never even try it just to avoid disappointment.

How about if I would just meet whoever I’m going to meet in this lifetime and have a comradeship, mutual respect, and companionship? And WHEN (not “if” because it WILL happen) we had enough of each other the separation won’t be this major rupture (this is my catholic self chiming in) of the oath we swore to God in front of witnesses. Whether it last a few weeks, months, or a few years there’s always the chance to start over fresh and new and not with the stigma of failure at the attempt of a happily ever after.

Advertisements

The Right to Cheat

18 Oct

I had a conversation with a good guy friend of mine regarding fidelity. He expressed that for him, as long as his partner is fulfilling his needs, there’s no reason to wonder off, but that he, in fact, had been unfaithful because his wife had been “acting up for a while.” His words, not mine.
So I asked him what that meant. He replied that as a wife, her duties were to always be available physically for him, to maintain their house clean, food on the table, and to take care of their children. He couldn’t understand why she would make up excuses for when he wanted to be intimate with her. He said it had been going on for too long and since she wasn’t giving it to him at home he went out looking for it elsewhere.

In his defense, he added that he performed his duties as a husband. He gave me a laundry list of the things he would do for her like flying her out for a weekend getaway. He works so she doesn’t have to, he is a good father to their children, and he buys her whatever she needs and wants, so why wasn’t she pulling her weight? He asked me. Why would she refuse to please me when all I do is please her?

All I kept thinking about was his wife. I thought about her reasons and excuses to not perform what was expected of her. So what about these marital duties? If you’re doing your part as a husband or wife and your still chose to cheat, what about then? The indiscretion has to be forgiven or overlooked because you are doing what you’re supposed to be doing at home? Now I ask myself, am I the type of person that allows to be cheated on?

I feel is extremely important to have the answer to that question before you enter a relationship. You have to know yourself, and understand your point of view from the beginning, so when it does happen, because it will, you are ready to do what you are supposed to do. I believe all of us as human beings living on this earth will experience at some point of our lives some kind of infidelity, so why not be prepared for it when it happens.

You have two options, you can be the accepting type; the one that will overlook and/or forgive an indiscretion and work together with your partner through any fidelity issue and stay together. Or option two; you can be the one who won’t stand for any wrongdoing and leave.

My friend got me thinking about a very interesting point. Most of the females I have discussed this issue with tell me that women cheat because there’s something lacking in the relationship, which is what my male friend was telling me now. I always assumed that men cheat because they feel they can, women cheat because they are trying to fill a void from their relationship.

Maybe it’s not a black and white answer, maybe there are some gray areas, and maybe men and women are not as different. Some men could cheat because they’re missing something, and some women cheat because they too feel they can.

No matter the reason, circumstance, situation or person involved, understanding what actions to take before the indiscretion has occurred will give you a sense of security because you’re prepared. Emotions can sometimes cloud the mind and not allow you to think straight.