Tag Archives: family

Divorce Killed the Matrimony Star

18 Nov

An Associated Press article came out today in most news outlets about a study by the Pew Research Center, in association with Time magazine that reported 4 out of 10 people say marriage is becoming obsolete. Reading this article made me think about my own believes and views about the institution of marriage and what it means to me.

It’s very unfortunate that the image and desire I had to one day create my own family by taking the vows of marriage in front of my family and friends have changed. I believe too highly in the holy sacrament of marriage. To think that someone else I’m involved with could not regard this commitment in the same level that I do, whether I like it or not, is unfathomable. In this day and age it’s very rare to find a person who thinks like me, so why risk it? Why disrespect it? May as well never even try it just to avoid disappointment.

How about if I would just meet whoever I’m going to meet in this lifetime and have a comradeship, mutual respect, and companionship? And WHEN (not “if” because it WILL happen) we had enough of each other the separation won’t be this major rupture (this is my catholic self chiming in) of the oath we swore to God in front of witnesses. Whether it last a few weeks, months, or a few years there’s always the chance to start over fresh and new and not with the stigma of failure at the attempt of a happily ever after.

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The Yummy Things I Like to Eat around the Holidays

10 Nov

Shopping, decorating, partying, eating, all these activities surely represent the holiday season for most of us. We do it year in and year out, but for me there are certain foods I just have to eat, to either get me in the festive mood, to remind me of holidays past and to share with family and friends creating traditions.

Pumkin pie.

Hello?! Thanksgiving anyone? Without this dessert it doesn’t really feel like the holidays have arrived, hehe. I incorporated this tradition when I moved from the Caribbean to the northeastern part of US. First time I had this I found the taste very strange, but grew to love it and associate it with happy memories. I love to eat it plain or with whipped cream. It reminds me of football, chilly, crisp air and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.

Sugar cookies.

Mentioning this treat is more about the activity of baking than the actual taste, but of course, we end up eating the whole batch in one sitting anyway. I love making them and sharing the baking process with my family and/or friends. We decorate them in Christmassy themes, and every year I try to buy new cookie cutters to add to my collection. It’s so much fun and makes for wonderful memories to reminisce on!

Apple cider donuts and hot apple cider.
I picked up this tradition when my boyfriend at the time moved to Vermont a few years ago. I used to drive up there twice a month and would love to stop by Cold Hollow Cider Mill on route 100 and get my fix. It just warms you right up, and reminds me of simpler times.

Sea grapes.

You may not be familiar with this since it’s more of a Caribbean/Dominican tradition. We only really eat grapes and apples around Christmas holiday. We serve the fruit together with the Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve dinners. The native sea grapes in DR are a rich, dark, purple color, almost black. They have seeds in them and they are the size of small golf balls. Having 12 sea grapes at the stroke of midnight in New Year’s Eve is supposed to symbolize good luck for the New Year.

Gumdrops. Another Dominican tradition that can never be left out during the holidays is gumdrops. The colorful sugary treat is synonymous with Christmas celebrations. If you visit any house during this time of year you could be sure you will find a bowl full of gumdrops somewhere in the house for anyone to enjoy. Over the years, I’ve grown out of the overwhelming sweet taste and the sticky, chewy texture but I love to have at least a couple of the red ones (me favorite) because they remind me of Christmas lights.

What are YOUR favorite holiday treats?

Do you believe?

12 Oct

I believe! The faith I have in me is slowly growing and it makes me happy to know that. There was a time when I thought that I could do anything, that I was invincible. That all I had to do was want something and I would get it. Ah! the naïveness of my believe was quite admirable and pitiful at the same time. However, this can-do attitude took me very far compared to other stereotypical counterparts.
Fast-forward a few years of emotional bullying and life’s reality check. I had completely changed this view. My attitude had morphed into a “why-me?” Life had thrown me a series of tests that in my eyes I had failed miserably. This was my distorted assessment of the truth until I had my own Aha! moment.
Now, I see things differently. Looking back at all the trials that I had to experience in the last years they were not failures, but were reaffirmations of my resilience to overcome, persevere, and rise above. My “why me?” attitude was truly a “survivor” mind-set. Once I had this realization I saw my life completely different and hence started to get my old mentality back. The faith I have in me is nowhere near what it used to be but slowly getting there. My old attitude was mostly driven on naïve notions of the world. I was the center of the universe and people and things revolved around me just because.
I know better now. I can do whatever I set my mind to do, I can achieve anything I put all my heart and soul into, I have faith in God and the people that truly care and have the best interest in me. How did my mind frame change? I recognized that I needed help so I actively made an effort to seek it. Here are some things you can do:

Therapy. This is very crucial because it’s professional help. You can get a lot detangled that you didn’t even know was a problem in your life in the first place. I’m not going to say it can’t be done alone, but it is probably very difficult. Why make it harder than it has to be. It already is a challenge; don’t try to reinvent the wheel.
Support groups. Whether is family, friends or online chats, even all at the same time. People around you that are cheering for you, that are providing a helping hand in difficult times, lending an ear for you to let it all out or just showing that they care. This is a great thing to have when you’re feeling inadequate. Once I got some of my friends and family that I felt comfortable sharing my issues with involved, they offered their very kind and generous support, their time and advice.
Mentor. A mentor can be so important because they can give you that courage you’re lacking to follow your dreams. They have been there, they know the ropes and they are willing to give you tips, advice and to give you that little push you need to get it going.
Get involved. Advocate, volunteer, and believe in something bigger than you, like a cause, a movement, a charity, anything that stops making you think in terms of you and more in terms of others and their needs. I got involved in a charity that advocates towards battered women because it’s a cause dear to my heart.
Educate yourself. Read books, magazines, anything that will expand your knowledge on things you care about and are interested in. I’m currently reading self-help books because of their inspiration and positive outlook.