Letting You in my Little Secret

8 Nov

I haven’t really been very vocal about my grand decision of cutting him off my life. Very few people know, and by few I mean 3 people. Lately I’ve been wondering why I have chosen not to say anything. I thought about how maybe what I do and don’t do isn’t anyone’s business. Also, I wonder that maybe I’m not big into sharing because letting everyone in my little secret somehow will etch my decision in stone with no room for failure. In any case, whatever the reason is I think I’m ready now to divulge it without hesitation simply because now I feel that maybe letting people know will allow them to help me with the process. The bigger the army, the greater the chances of me winning the war.
I decided to first talk to a few key characters in this novella.
My mother. She dislikes him so much, maybe her sympathy and happiness will fuel me to continue.
His cousin. She was my VIP access to his life for certain things. By her being involved now maybe I won’t have to hear who he is or isn’t dating and she’ll be more discrete by respecting my feelings.
My friend related to his ex. By opening up this “bomb” to her maybe I’ll get closer to her like I used to be before she got caught in the middle of this love triangle. I miss her so.
Our mutual friends. There are many of them, and, sincerely, having to pretend like we’re “A-Ok” is really taking a toll on me. I despise them for asking me every time they see me how he’s doing, and what he’s up to. Maybe by opening up they’ll respect my wishes of not wanting to talk about him, and maybe, just maybe they’ll help me, support me, and encourage me to move on for good.
Understanding that my needs go above his and the rest is half the battle. I will do and say what is right for me and what will ultimately help me get over him.

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2 Responses to “Letting You in my Little Secret”

  1. cocktailsattiffanys November 8, 2010 at 6:17 pm #

    Good luck to you! Breakups are tough but you will look back in a few years and be thankful you did it 🙂
    -Gizzy

    • lapatty809 November 9, 2010 at 9:42 pm #

      Thanks for your well wishes, and for reading my blog 😉

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