The First Test

27 Sep

I overestimated my lack of emotions. How I discovered this knocked me off my feet, and crudely slapped me in the face as if to say “snap back into reality!”
I found out that as I’m living my life, apparently, so is he. The naive notion that I had that he was crying his eyes out because I no longer chose to be part of his world, that I had shunned him, deprived him of my presence, my jokes, my smile, my compliments, my sweet terms of endearment, our Sunday morning breakfast dates, our 18 hrs text conversations, just me, this idea is completely wrong. It bursted like a bubble. It fell like a castle made out of a deck of cards knocked down by the wind that was the news I had just heard.

This weekend he attended a wedding with a date. The one he introduced to everyone as his girlfriend. I imagined how a previous conversation between them had been like. He casually asked her if she could come along. She, very nonchalant, said yes, of course, but inside she was bursting with joy and excitement.
“What to wear?” she tought.
As soon as they hung up she called her bestie and asked her to go to the mall and scour for a super sexy yet sophisticated little number.

My overly active imagination had gone haywire, here I was crumbling away all the confidence I had slowly built over the last few weeks. How could this one comment do this to me? What’s going to happen when I actually have to face him? Am I going to be strong enough to carry out my feat of getting over him in a year? This is only a test, but if I didn’t fail I think I barely passed.

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